A list of things I'd like to achieve in 2022

Mao Dou the King

First of all, that adorable creature is the resident campground alpha puppy of my favorite spot to chill on long weekends in Taiwan. It’s not the campground owner’s dog. Nor is he anyone’s.

He just showed up one day, liked the vibes of the people, the tents, the bar, the live music, and decided this place was now his. The Genghis Khan of Southern Taiwan stray dogs.

I’m sure the amazing home-cooked food being readily fed to him in exchange for pets and hugs had nothing to do with his decision.

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After spending yet another long weekend having Mao Dou¹ at the ready for an all-you-can-pet buffet, I decided to ring in the new year with a list of things I’d like to try.

Perhaps there’s a few points I should get out of the way first:

1. I hate the idea of New Years Resolutions:

“If I want to achieve something enough to make it a target, putting the chances of success down to only 1 day a year with a massive amount of anticipation, expectation, and inevitable failure-to-reach-100% of the goal and then dropping off into a pit of despair and goal-giving-upness is — to me at least — the most statistically improbable way of ever hoping to accomplish a goal in the first place.”

Yes, I just quoted myself.

2. I believe in making habits to move goals off of daily to-do lists:

“I have not written an essay about this subject yet.”

3. These are things I ‘want/would like’ to do, not necessarily things I ‘will’ do.

I feel that attaching an absolutism like ‘I will’ to a desirable goal is a set-up for failure of said goal. Life is in the middle, so are we, so are our goals. It’s okay to fail once in a while, as long as you keep getting back at it.

4. A bit of “practicing in public” can be good for the motivational soul.

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With that being said, let’s get started:

1. Pet more dogs—Thanks go out to Mao Dou for this tip.

2. Restart my “Daily Teading” time—Before the lockdown here last year, I had formed a great habit of spending the first hour of the day reading a book in the park over a tea with a bit of sugar inside. I normally don’t drink sugar in my tea, so I was trying to Pavlov myself a bit. It worked—until they closed the parks.

3. Restart my daily Mandarin learning.

4. Go to the beach at least twice a week for reading/fiction writing/chilling.

5. Write more focused pieces in a more consistent manner in a more consistent schedule so I can be more consistently consistent.

6. Go exploring once a month and take as many pictures as possible to harass readers with enjoyment.

7. Hit the next plateau for weight loss by further refinement of ‘normal day’ diet. “Weekends for pleasure; weekdays for work.” It’s easy enough to stop mixing them.’ Except for the odd holidays and birthweeks, of course.

8. Get my next business off the ground and running—helping out friends’ companies with online organic traffic building.

9. Read 10 more books on improving writing, humor, and copy.

10. Find a way to create more amusing one-off cartoons with my artistic friends.

11. Find a t-shirt printer in my town and then slowly change my entire wardrobe into funny cartoons for when I meet people and they inevitably³ chuckle at my shirt all so I can say, “Thanks! I made it!” and then prepare to have a very odd conversation on what exactly it is that I “do” for a living.

12. Create at least one more illustrated satire humor book, preferably making fun of Elon Musk because…do I really need to say why?

13. Practice the art of murdering birds² in my writing by slashing and burning old too-long-form pieces into 500-word wrapups and then sending this highly refined work out to readers of this sentence.

14. Edit everything (except this piece ofc) on different days of the week. Move more into the idea of “write drunk, edit sober” with or without the booze.

15. Stock up on more booze.

16. Try to learn to surf at least once (and not drown).

17. Massively improve my “ly” game. I really need to work on this part of my writing. It’s absolutely, positively, annoyingly one of my biggest painpoints write now.

18. Keep on making awesome puns.

19. Get on the dreaded stairclimber at the gym at least 3 times a week without swearing constantly.

20. Start practicing gratitude on a regular basis as it’s been proven to help reshape our viewing lens on the world.

21. Keep lists to 20 points more often.

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That’s it! I have a couple more things in mind for myself that are more on the personal side (like creating an even sexier version of a peanut butter sandwich), but I’m sure if I make any progress on those you’ll be among the first to know.

Thanks for reading and Happy New Year!

Notes:

1. Mao Dou means edamame, those delicious salted green bean dishes you see at Japanese restaurants

2. “Kill your darlings”

3. Read: 1% of the time

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J.J. Pryor,

Revolutionary fighter in the War of the Algorithms

Hint: 👇I’d love it (and possibly you?) if you helped share this!👇