Are You Afraid of Clowns?
Exploring coulrophobia, a word I didn't know yesterday
Do you know what’s scarier than a bear hyped up on nose candy? The fact they made a movie about it. Oh, and apparently clowns. And, I would posit, sandwiches without peanut butter and tuna in them.
But of all things, why are people afraid of clowns?
According to possibly the nichest website I’ve ever come across, History of Circus, clowns have been around for a very long time. The first recorded ones were in 2400 BC in the fifth dynasty of Egypt.
They then evolved in ancient Greece where they cropped off all their hair and wore fancy padded clothes. Roman clowns apparently donned pointed hats and constantly made fun of themselves.
Even the indigenous tribes of North America had a form of clowns, which were called contraries, or reverse warriors, and used to amuse people by doing everything contrary to the norm. As in, they’d walk on their hands, ride horses backward, and presumably give diseases to scary white men.
But eventually, we got to the modern clown—assuming it’s not me—with its deep history rooted in the circus. Developed during theatre and Varieté shows (clown speak for variety show) of the 1800 and 1900s, we all know and love the bouncy, white-faced, red-nosed, only slightly-creepy comedians in makeup we call clowns.
The first mainstream one was a jovial fellow by the name of Joseph Grimaldi, who was likely the guy who popularised the white and red makeup which is still the standard even today.
Who could be afraid of that guy?
Well, according to a bit of lazy research, almost all children, and about ~40% of adult Americans (or 7.5%. ) are coulrophobics. One of those studies says Americans are more afraid of clowns than gun rights infringement. That doesn’t really fit into this article but I thought I should mention it.
Anyway, the clown-hiders are more than 0%, and that perplexes me. I don’t like when people are afraid of me.
This is a free version of Pryor Thoughts, because they all are.
But just in case you want to help keep this newsletter running:A New Hope
But don’t worry, my make-up-fearing friends, for where millennia of traditions of laughter and amusement have let you down, science has stepped up to save the day!
Researchers at the University of South Wales set out to help understand the devilish nature of this amusing fear by using one of a clown’s worst nightmares against them—rigorous data collection.
They polled 528 people who expressed some level of fear of white-faced lunatics and tried to pinpoint what exactly made them shiver in fear rather than giggle in glee.
While you might expect the answer would be related to having a bad experience with a clown…
…that was actually the least influential factor. The researchers could only conclude that people have an irrational fear—well, with the above clown excepted—of clowns because of a variety of factors, like cultural influence (Pennywise from IT, JJ Pryor from the Lizard Kingdom) and their unpredictable behavior.
The strongest indicator was from the very essence of a clown, the fact that their makeup hides the emotions those evil clowns may actually be feeling.
Apparently, the lack of facial expressions makes a lot of people uneasy around them, and for others, this can cause a sense of fear.
So introverts, the next time you’re cozied up at the end of the bar staring off into space daydreaming about making the world’s next great sandwich that might not have to involve tuna, just be wary—people might be uneasy around you…or even scared.
On the other hand, for those of you that cake yourselves in makeup day in and day out, don’t forget to smile!
PS. What are you afraid of?
Here’s what that possibly flawed study said Americans are afraid of the most:
Corrupt government/government officials
Clowns
Terrorist attacks
Gun rights infringement (Oh, the horror)
Family members dying
Economic collapse
Obamacare (I swear I’m not making this up)
Biological warfare
Climate change (only 32%…really?)
Heights
Dying
Needles (17%…Hmm…vaccine fears anyone?)
Spousal cheating
Ghosts
Written by a friendly clown named JJ Pryor.
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Yeah. I understand it.
Coulrophobia played a major role in an episode of one of my favorite animated television programs, "The Weekenders", when one of the protagonists was forced to confront his fear after an emotional meltdown scene I completely related to. Of course, the solution was for him to actually learn how to be a clown....
Considering how much easier it is to deceive the eye than the ear, this indicates a need to work on overcoming that tendency to stare at people when we need to be listening to them. Breathes there a woman so uninteresting to the eye that she's never wanted to scream "Close your eyes so you can HEAR what I'm saying"?