The Twelve Days of Unfettered Capitalism
On the first day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
A brand-new shiny economy.
On the second day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the third day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the fourth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the fifth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the sixth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Six market bubbles bursting,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the seventh day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the eighth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Eight lobbyists lying,
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the ninth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Nine uber-rich politicians,
Eight lobbyists lying,
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the tenth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Ten new classes of poor,
Nine uber-rich politicians,
Eight lobbyists lying,
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the eleventh day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Eleven culture wars,
Ten new classes of poor,
Nine uber-rich politicians,
Eight lobbyists lying,
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy.
On the twelfth day of Capitalism, the market gave to me:
Twelve dictators rising,
Eleven culture wars,
Ten new classes of poor,
Nine uber-rich politicians,
Eight lobbyists lying,
Seven corporate bailouts,
Six market bubbles,
Five golden yachts!
Four soaring stock markets,
Three tax breaks for the rich,
Two less government branches,
And a brand-new shiny economy… that’s not quite what it used to be.
Written by a cheery J.J. Pryor
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Ah, another satirical Christmas classic from the subverted, genius brain of JJ Pryor! Excellent--and the images are awesome.
This is what everyone's been thinking about modern economics but doesn't say out loud.