This Was the Most Boring Day in History, Statistically

It was a day like none other, presumably

Few things in life will make you statistically bored, except learning about statistics, of course. But if you’re anything like programmer William Tunstall-Pedoe, you probably strongly disagree with that statement.

Over a decade ago, he had a dream. 

“Screw Google, I’m gonna build my own search engine!” — Willy, probably

Another part of his bold dream? 

“Screw Quora, I’m gonna build a website with actual facts.” — Bill, probably

Combine the two and he built an interesting search engine you’ve never heard of called True Knowledge. But how’s a statistically bold programmer named William supposed to get his message of Screwness out into the wide world?

Well, he sat down, built yet another program that worked on top of his other program answering a simple question.

“What is the most statistically boring day in history?”

And so, his algorithm used his True Knowledge search engine to scour the 20th century for factually boring days. (Facts weren’t a thing before the 20th century, just ask any history book banner.)

His one-two programming punch combo came up with one date in particular. 

A day so unlike any other day in the last 100 years or so that it never would’ve stood out for anything in particular unless being specifically searched for. It was Gary, the unassuming neighbor who collects stamps and drinks 3.5 cups of tea per day, as he’d monotonously tell you if anyone ever bothered to ask.

According to the software, April 11th, 1954 was the most uneventful day in recorded history. 

So, what happened on the most boring day in history?

Well, besides a lot of nothing, it was a Sunday for starters. 

• The 68th iteration of the All-Ireland hurling championship also kicked off that day. A sport I’ve never previously heard of. But considering it’s Irish and involves hurling, I can only assume many mops and buckets were on hand for the cleanup.

• An Italian driver driving an Italian car won an Italian sports car race, along with every other top 5 finisher in the race’s history.

• There was also a cycling race in Paris, mon Dieu!

• And an hours-long game where someone repeatedly hit a ball in New Orleans while people pretended to be interested.

• And, according to Wikipedia, 11 people were born and 1 died. That’s a recipe for overpopulation if I ever saw one.

As for dear old Willy Tunstall-Pedoe, I’m sad to say his groundbreaking engine True Knowledge is no longer available. Even the original blog post that brought his not-so-boring statistical technology some much-needed attention is now defunct.

Why?

Because it’s busy burning a hole in your pocket (and our atmosphere). 

While the first iteration of True Knowledge was created in 2007, 5 years later the company launched its next-generation system. An AI app for iPhone and Android that was meant to interact with us non-boring folk using natural language processing systems.

Apparently, it was pretty successful. Just 6 months later they changed their company name to the product itself, something called Evi.

And as with anything good in our modern age, it was quickly swallowed up by Amazon and deployed as part of a product you can now talk to.

So, the next time you say “Screw Amazon!” to your Alexa assistant, just remember that part of her history includes multiple, very, very, very, boring statistical personalities.

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This message has been brought to you by a non-lizard-king named J.J. Pryor.

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Image credits: Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels

This article about the most boring day in history was originally posted on Medium.